


Feeling December

by pastel_vagabond



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Christmas setting, M/M, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, because I love pain, fight me, this is kinda heartbreaking and i am so sorry, this was just what i was inspired to make, yes i’m writing a christmas themed story in april
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 02:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastel_vagabond/pseuds/pastel_vagabond
Summary: “What did you mean, when you said you were ‘feeling December’?”Well, i meant a lot of things.





	Feeling December

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2am while sad and tired, so there’s probably some errors somewhere in here but i’m honestly too tired to care
> 
> the whole story is told from Ryan’s point of view, by the way.

“What did you mean, when you said you ‘felt December’?”

 

_I meant a lot of things._

 

When i came over Christmas eve, after not seeing you for five years after our adventure, you didn’t shut me out like i expected you too. No, instead you invited me in and called me an idiot for standing out in the freezing cold.

When i walked into your home, i could feel the sense of hope, purpose, and family wash over me like the sea washes over the shore on a warm midnight summer. I felt... Almost home.

 

_I meant, that when you took me in, it felt like a fresh hot cup of cocoa on a chilly winter day._

 

I didn’t expect your family to be so welcoming to me... It was almost kind of heartening to see how kindly they treated me after so many years of being gone.

Your mother insisted that i sat down, no matter how much i protested, and quickly wrapped me in some blankets to help warm me up. She even brought me gingerbread cookies and hot milk, which i was grateful for.

After all, i didn’t get to eat much while i was traveling alone.

 

_I meant, that when your family all came together that night to watch a movie, i could still taste the fading gingerbread on my tongue as we all laughed._

 

Your mother was the first one to turn in for the night, then went your father not far behind. You told me how i could have your room for the night, and you would take the couch. No matter how hard i tried, you wouldn’t let me sleep on the couch.

I grudgingly agreed to take the upstairs bedroom, and you showed me the way.

But as you stood in the doorframe, faced away from me but not moving forward, you wouldn’t answer why you let me in. Why you let me stay the night.

Why you let me back into your life.

 

_I meant, that when you didn’t answer my question that night, i could taste the bitter peppermint on my tongue as i heard your footsteps trail further away from the room._

 

The next morning was an interesting one, wasn’t it? You and your mother were downstairs quite early making breakfast for everyone, chatting about the weather outside.

When i came to the table, your mother greeted me as if this was a regular occurrence. How funny is that?

Your father came down about an hour later, talking about how he shouldn’t sleep in so late, and should’ve been helping cook.

How is your family this functional?

 

_I meant, that when i saw your father take the frying pan from your mother and thank her for the work she did, i could feel a warm, joyous glow, like a Christmas light hanging from the well-worn family tree._

 

When we all settled in the living room after breakfast, your mother began digging out the presents. Your father had a glint of excitement in his eyes as your mother handed him his first present.

Maybe some people never really grow out of their childish love for the holidays.

What i wasn’t expecting, was for me to have a gift. Your mother mentioned it after clearing gifts from the underside of the tree.

You looked almost inhuman when you got up from your seat and went to go fetch it.

 

_I meant, that when you handed me my gift and our hands brushed, i could almost feel the soft embrace of freshly-fallen snow._

 

When i opened my gift, there was a snow globe in it.

Not just any snow globe, however. This one was special.

It had a picture of us, in a water-proof case that rested in the center of the snow globe. It was gorgeous, how could you ever give something so great to me?

You never met my gaze for the rest of the day.

As i gave my final goodbyes to your family, i felt saddened by the fact that i had to leave this place that i had become so attached to in the span of a day.

Then again, i was never supposed to be attached in the first place.

 

_I meant, that when i turned back to look at your house from further down the street and saw that you weren’t there, that i could feel the numbing cold overtake me._

 

I don’t know why i came to you.. Honestly i should have never did.

Seeing you after all these years, and getting to see the inside of your house again... It all felt so much like home.

However, with how traveling goes, i’m not allowed to have such a thing as a ‘home.’

Never will.

 

_When i said ‘feeling December’, i meant that, without family or friends to stay with and talk to, i’m as cold and numb as the weather in the dead of December._

**Author's Note:**

> vag·a·bond  
> a person who wanders from place to place without a home or job.
> 
>  
> 
> hope y’all enjoyed this kinda one-shot i did because i was sad and needed to vent my feelings.
> 
> Also i made this Jeremwood themed at like the last minute but it’s like 3am now and i’m too tired to check and see if jeremy’s parents are accurate at all whoops


End file.
